Sadie March 17th, 2008
The most wonderful time of the year is almost upon us; baseball season!!! I’m super excited because I just bought my first tickets of the season. No, they aren’t great tickets, but I can’t wait! Nothing beats a nice sunny day of tailgating, beer, and baseball! Woooo! I’m so ready for baseball to start!
Top 5 best things about baseball
5. Beer
4. Tailgating
3. Nachos
2. Home Runs
1. Hot Baseball Players
Sadie December 4th, 2007
5. Give my house a really good cleaning
4. Sew some new PJs or a christmas stocking
3. Finish my Christmas shopping (not much left)
2. Bake cookies; peanut butter kisses, almond crescents, sugar cookies
1. Stay in my pajamas and read a good book under a big blanket with a cup of hot chocolate
Sadie October 29th, 2007
5. “I just had a tumor the size of a hackey sack removed from left breast.” This was an un-provoked comment from a man. He is pretty famous for giving us TMI, but that was bad.
4. “My wife had really bad diarrhea and she crapped all over my back in bed last night.” Just sick. Know how hard it was for me to look at that woman the next time I saw her? Why would you tell someone that story? In fact why talk about your bowel movements at all. That reminds me of the time someone told me that it stunk so bad the automatic air-freshener in the bathroom sprayed not once but twice.
3. “I have to make a transfer. I just bought new boobs for my daughter so she could make more money at work.” FYI, daughter was a stripper. Too bad mom didn’t buy her a pretty face.
2. “I got an infection from my hysterectomy, and when I went to the doctor today he didn’t even wait for surgery. He stuck a scalpel in my stomach and puss flew everywhere.” This customer then went on to show me her perforated stomach. Sick.
1. A man came in one day and asked us to call him by a different name. He informed us that he was now legally a woman. He also explained that he thought he was born a girl and his parents chose for him to be a boy around age 3. He said that every month he used to have a sort of menstrual cycle. He was looking forward to buying new underwear and shopping with his wife. (Does that make them lesbians?)
Sadie August 4th, 2007
5. Kids- Lets just face it- Kids smell. Sorry, true.Â
4. Body Odor- Is is just me who always has a fat sweaty jerk with no shirt run into them?Â
3. The Trash- And no, I don’t mean people again.  Its a combination of unfinished corndogs, dirty diapers, warm soda, and rotting various other fair foods that smelled much like garbage before they were thrown away.
2. The Animals- The smell just wafts through the humid air and gets trapped in your sinus.
1. Vomit- Never fails. You can not attend a fair and avoid vomit.Â
(…and now you know why I do not attend fairs)
Sadie July 23rd, 2007
I have never proclaimed to be the Fashion Police, however, after spending a week with Tracy I feel as though I have been deputized. :D Here are the top 5 worst fashion faux pas that I have encountered while on vacation this past week.
5. Fanny packs. What do you own that is so important that you have to keep it tied to your waist in an ass purse? Ever hear of a backpack, beach bag, messenger bag or purse? For cripes sake a darn Wal Mart bag would look better than a fanny pack! There is a reason you can not buy these anymore people!!!
4. Cousin IT hair. Get a hair cut already. Why do you want hair down to your knees. It looks awful and is hard to take care of. On a side note, if you dig deep enough, you might just find that Cheeto that you lost last week.
3. Flip flops with socks. This is uncomfortable and looks like crap. Why would you do it? No really- why would you?
2. Pink, yellow or white bathing suits. If you can see see your business throught the suit before you get wet, what do you think will happen when you do get wet? Nobody came to the beach to see that! If fact, I think some people may leave because of it!Â
1. Short shorts that are stuck 4 inches up your butt. Seriously why? What was this lady thinking? Ok- she was thin, but her butt had so many cheeks I lost count. They were jiggly and flappy and over tanned and SICK. Did I mention she had a child with her?
Sadie July 18th, 2007
5. When a cat wants your attention it meows and will not leave you alone, even when you throw it across a room. When you tell the dog to leave you alone, it harasses the cat instead!
4. Cats don’t care about anything but themselves (sounds like some people I know!). A dog will risk its own life for a person.
3. Cats do their business in a box in your house. Dogs (usually) don’t.
2. Cats jump on your kitchen counters after walking in that box. I have NEVER found Mr. T on my counter!
1. The best reason: 
 Mr. T
Sadie July 16th, 2007
5. They are festering green swampy bug pits if you miss even a day or two of chemical doses.
4. People you don’t like always want to hang out at your house because you have the pool.
3. Four words- fat people, water displacement. Always gots ta be fillin it back up!
2. Kids (and probably some adults) pee in them. Do you really want to get that in your mouth?
1. There will be some sort of pool-tastrophy, such as exploding hoses, every single year.
Sadie July 12th, 2007
5. Where do you store over a year’s worth of food and water?
4. What do you do if you hit a storm?
3. What about her period?
2. Is there a stick and some twine attached to the boat for Wilson?
1. Where do you poop? (no tp?)
Sadie July 8th, 2007
5. Go to dinner and a movie
4. Swim in a pool or take a cool shower
3. Go ice skating
2. Have a couple of cool drinks such as an ice cold beer or something summery like malibu and orange on ice or lemonade
1. Crank up your air conditioning until you have goosebumps!
Sadie July 7th, 2007
5. Bring your 4 year old child who clings to you, terrified as she sees and hears awful new things.
4. Irritate everyone around you doing obnoxious things such as throwing your empty beer cups, shooting people with rubberbands, etc.
3. Try hooking up with the people next to you, thinking they might want you, just because they are standing by you.
2. Jump up and down incessantly, ignoring the rhythm of the music.
1. Shake your fist with the sign language for “I love you,” ALL NIGHT LONG thinking you are making the ever popular ”devil horns.”
